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| You're
driving by, minding your own business, when suddenly...like a big splat of Pelican
shit on your windshield...you see America's modern day equivalent of the Hatfields
and the McCoys. On the one hand, you've got the Unshorn Sisters of the Apocalypse...with hairy legs and salad bowl haircuts screaming out, "our bodies, our choice!" Even though the chance of one of them actually conceiving a child is inconceivable outside of an artificial insemination by a lesbian holding a ten-foot long turkey baster, a price club size bottle of Wesson Oil and the Jaws of Life. On the other hand, you've got God's Special Education Team...all those weird Jeezoids who used to wear helmets and ride that little bus to the Christian Bible School. You know, the school that teaches that "every sperm is sacred" and that dinosaur bones are rock formations? What do you do? You're stuck in traffic now as they clog the intersection and hold up pictures of what looks like day old pizza, and tell you that it was a living soul. You shift your gaze between the screaming hairy chick |
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looks like Moe from the Three Stooges, and the thirty year old, hatchet-faced
virgin wearing the ten pound cross and holding up the gruesome graphic in front
of your car... Well...you'd know what to do if you had a handy dandy Fetus Cannon!® What better way to vent your frustration and disgust at Americas interminable "family feud" than to launch a salvo of soft, spongy red, white and blue fetuses into the human train wreck blocking your commute! The Fetus Cannon® is available in both pump-pneumatic single shot and C02 high-powered "rapid fire" versions. Call for price list and availability! |
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| Actual Size of Fetus Cannon "Ball". | |||||||||||
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I created some
killer bumper stickers. |
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